Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Being a Mom is hard work

Not that I ever thought it would be easy. And I knew that there would be challenges I coudn't even imagine I'd face. But really, no matter what I have to go through, its all worth it and I love my little girls more than anything.
All that aside, man- it can be hard!
Izzy was really hard the first few months, but I handled it pretty well (if I do say so myself). She could have been a lot worse, and since I knew how fast it was going to fly by - and has it!- I wasn't stressing it. Jessica did pretty well with getting used to our new addition and was actually pretty easy (which was a first) so that helped a lot.
Then everything changed
Izzy is finally so much easier its ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. She's like a whole new baby. Lets almost anyone hold her, only gets up once at night, barely spits up anymore, and never really cries for no reason. Total 180.
But now Jessica has realized that her sister is here to stay and she now has to share the spotlight. She is still the center of our worlds, she's just not the only one. That, coupled with no longer taking naps (I've tried it all people! Honestly, this nap thing has really been going on since Christmas. So I guess I"m not that surprised), and her Dad going back to work. Its just hit the wall.
Last night was the tantrum of all tantrums. Over nothing. NOTHING. But I guess thats what tantrums really are, isn't it? She flipped out on me in the bathtub and went all Excorcist on me. She did the scream/yell she's only done one other time (when we put the gate up on her bedroom door so that she could no longer get out of bed 50 million times a night. She did it, drama for 15 minutes, then went to bed. And now stays in her bed everynight. Totally worth it). I swear her eyes roll back into her head and its like she's possessed. I was trying to not laugh at how ridiculous it was and trying to not cry at the same time. Finally got her calmed down, it was probably less than an hour, but I don't want that to happen. Ever. Again.
Sooooo I called up a behavioralist that I've worked with before. She's awesome. Amazing. I love her :) She works for the YMCA for this program thats free to anyone with children in any sort of child care situation ages 0 - 5. Yeah, I ain't to proud to ask for help!
She gave me some good tips, and pointed out some things that I didn't really think of. One of them is the time outs. Those really just don't work for her, and give her more attention, so basically reinforcing the bad behavior. So we're stopping that and just ignoring her behavior.
I'm also setting aside 10 minutes during the working day, when all the other kids are around, for "Mommy Jessica time." I did it today right after I put Izzy down for a nap and it was free play outside. We read a book and cuddled and sang some songs. It was nice :)

So anywho, I'm kinda rambling about all this. My point is that its hard being a parent. Little kids are just little people, and who really understands people? And I've said it a bazillion times, even though I take care of kids for a living, study and learn about in school, and have been doing it for a really long time- its so much harder when its your own!

I managed to make it to my yoga class after the tantrum. I was a few minutes late. But I'm so glad I went. A great de-stressor. And in the class the teacher told us to repeat this "mantra" in our heads

"I'm just doing the best that I can"
So true
I'm doing the best that I can.


  1. Wow Kat...I feel your pain, I really do...we are dealing with the same thing over here, and it feels really good to know that I am not alone...thanks for your post!

  2. in your head? Ha! yell it out loud and tell the kids, "mom is doing the best she can! PLEASE be nice to me, I love you." I beg them ;)
    I need the info to that lady! My 2 year old has had serious issues since he was 10 months. Cries and tantrums every single day. So not right. email it to me please!

    You ARE doing the best you can and that is 10 million times better than a lot of other parents... but I seriously feel your pain. I always wonder what I'm doing wrong and if I was better at parenting maybe, just maybe my 2 year old would not be possessed by demons.

    Parenting is hard!

  3. They are the cutest girls ever! I know you're an AMAZING mommy....they are 2 lucky chickies :)

  4. You are such a good mom, Kat!! tantrums happen. we have learned with Maria that they just come out of nowhere sometimes. she's strong-willed and likes everything to be according to her plan. just hang in there, it can be so tough sometimes!! your girls are beautiful. Jessica look so old and Izzy's chubbiness is adorable :)

  5. Kat, you really are amazing! I don't know how you do it with two children under 3. I really feel like you are the best mommy I know:) So much so that when it comes time for me to go down that road, I will probably be calling you at least once a week for advice...cause I figure that you will probably have the answer!!

  6. Quoting Michael Jackson(r.i.p) " You are not alone.. I am here with you thu you're far apart you're always in my heart!":) I feel you girl. It can be stressful I've honestly never had to really deal with the tantrum thing but I know how it is when they need attention right at the same time when the phone is ringing, pots boilingover and your nerves are shot! and your just wondering man I was I really ready to have kids!lol it's good your getting things right with Jessica so when Izzy is 2 you'll be prepared. It's a beautiful thing! Izzy is getting so big! not that she should be getting small. I wonder why we say that. of coarse the baby is gonna get big. She gotta grow!!! lol- Jakayla

  7. thanks ladies, you made me feel better :) and i have to say, its only been a day of changing things, but they are already starting to improve!